It was morning, early morning: darkness and silence swirled around me. The silence was so loud the sound of a faucet drip could not disrupt the quiet.  That’s what happens when you lose power and have no running water for a couple of days, four days to be exact. 

How did I get here? Well, my house has been under construction for a while.  My whole life I’ve dealt with open subfloor, unpainted walls, dust, and the drilling of power tools. My dad is a carpenter and while he was still working, it was one small project after another. Now that he is retired, he has broken out the big projects like renovating the kitchen. My family can’t afford to hire someone to fix everything, so my dad installed the sink himself last spring. When installing a sink, the water needs to be shut off. This process should’ve taken a couple of hours. Instead, a couple of hours turned into a four-day operation when we lost power due to a malfunction with our neighborhood power box, what a coincidence. 

No power means no Wi-Fi. I had to go to my sister’s house to study and print anything I needed for school. Then I needed to return home, back to the darkness. Day after day, for what felt like ages, I returned to the depressing gray light of the house. We had to use water bottles to brush our teeth. Our neighbors across the street kindly let us use their power in order to keep our fridge running so our food wouldn’t spoil.

Adapting to our temporary living situation actually helped me with my high school extracurriculars. I’m in student leadership and I’m also the president of my class. With my new understanding of innovation and adaptation, I have been able to apply these lessons to many events such as homecoming, prom, and multiple charity weeks. I am a perfectionist, everything I do must be perfect all the time. I love to feel needed, and see what I plan to turn out successfully. If it doesn’t I get extremely upset. I remember crying in the bathroom after events when minor details went wrong. Though no one else noticed, I wasn’t going to let them. 

I’m also a therapist, a teacher, and a carpenter; though I have no “formal” training. My friends approach me and rant about their boyfriend who is making them upset or how their parents are bothering them. I help them talk through their issues no matter how big or small they are.“Olivia, should I break up with him?” 

“Olivia, what should I say to her” 

“Thanks, Olivia you give the best advice”

 “Are you sure you want to go into journalism? You should be a therapist haha” 

Then I quickly hang up my counselor hat and then become the teacher.

“Can you read my paper?”

“Does this sound right” 

“Wait, how do I do this again?”

“You’d make a great teacher Olivia” 

I always try to fix what is broken. Which is why I’m a carpenter. I’m surrounded by people with projects that want their problems solved. I feel that I have to be everything for everybody. If I’m not actively being “useful,” then I’m a burden. I say to myself.

“No one actually likes you”

“You’re not as great as you think you are”

“You’re a horrible person” 

It overwhelms me, being president, a student leader, a therapist, a teacher, and a carpenter all at once. I wouldn’t trade any of these positions though, I like what I do. My friends can see that. “Olivia, can I help you with something?” Are you ok?” I realize now, just like my neighbors who helped us, my friends can help me too. I don’t need to prove myself to them. Only I expect myself to always be perfect. I can just be me and that’s okay.